Delusions
by xZexe
Summary: The pack leader is Diego's beloved and his sudden will for revenge destroys their strong relationship. Will Diego manage to change him back ? One shot. Rated T for some bad language and maybe for the romantic scenes. Enjoy !


**I'd be sooooo grateful to those who'd leave a review.. Just let me know what you liked and what you didn't, this helps me improve my writing. :* Enjoy !**

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" I've been waiting for you .. "

I flinch at the hearing of his voice. He is sitting up a few meters away from me, but I couldn't see him in the darkness of the cold night. I look him in his hazel-green eyes and for a moment, just a split second, I think I see Soto. That Soto who once made me happy .. who loved me .. But he breaks the eye-contact when he gets up and turns around, beginning to walk slowly and forcing me to follow him.

My paws are half-frozen and I would give anything to be back at the lair, sheltered from the damn blizzard outside and being warmed up by Lenny, Oscar and Zeke – yes, even him. But I keep walking through the thick layer of snow, keeping my head down as the wind is snapping my eyes and entering my bones, making me to tremble.

I throw a look forward, but I can't see him. I step out and feel my paws aching from the shards that are jutting from the ground, piercing the snow. After a while, I meet his gaze again and I stop running. His ghostly appearance is highlighted by a diaphanous steam. A distant memory of feeling his hot breath fondling my neck sneaks up my head. I try to chase it, I try to forget. But I can't. An unbearably pain fills my chest and I almost shed a tear. _He's changed._ He enters some side-placed bushes and I do the same, leaving behind the path that reaches the lair. Of course !

Now we're stepping on a much-narrower path, bordered by spiny bushes that are pricking my skin. Streaks of blood are now covering my orange fur and the warmth of the red liquid gives me a strange sensation. I can't even remember the last time I came here .. But it was probably long enough to give them time to grow up and hide the path so that the others couldn't find it.

I almost give out a scream when a thorn pierces my flank, but I manage to hold it out and only groan low. I look forward once again, holding my breath and straining my triceps, but he just keeps walking, slowly swaying his slim hips – he hasn't heard me. I let my head fall down and try to figure out his intentions: does he want to tell me about some changes he's made about the plan ? Nah .. He could do that at the lair, where the others could hear him too. No. It has to be something more than that if he brought me here ..

The path seems longer than I remember. I can see his pawprints, regularly disposed on the ground. But something is wrong. One of them doesn't sink as deep as the other three ones – he's limping. And now I can see it - dark-colored trails, that I thought they were just shadows, are staining the white snow, accompanying his pawprints. He's bleeding.

I finally get outside the bushes and, after so long, I see our cave – our innermost, magical place. The top of it is covered in snow and an imposing fir emerges from its roof, as reigning over the other bushes and shrubs underneath. Its green needlelike leafage is enlivening the whole place and the bright light of the shy Moon, hidden behind, is making its way through it, giving the snow a greenish tint.

The entrance is now flanked by tall white snowdrifts and translucent icicles are hanging by its vault, making it to look just like a real portal to another world. A world where the nights were so hot that our soaked furs were getting stuck into each other during our embraces, where both of us were only feeding with each other's lips' taste. A world where we were confessing our eternal love again and again until the rose-pink light of dawn compelled us to return to the others, keeping our secret still. A world where he loved me.

I look forward, expecting him to enter the cave, but he doesn't - he's just sitting up, waiting for me to come next to him. I'm slowly advancing through the gale, dragging my feet on the frozen snow and a few moments later, I'm there, right in front of him, still keeping my head down. Letting my weight on my right paw, I give out a low sigh and a dense steam fills the small gap between us.

I perk my ears when he clears his throat and I start lifting my head slowly, until my eyes meet his face. His figure has got a bony look, caused by his late bad habit of not eating, deep shades highlighting his cheeks, making him to look older. Dark circles are encircling his hazel-green eyes and I try to find the old Soto in their look, but I can't. A grim cold got hold of his entire presence, leaving no room for any happiness or love. _Where have you gone ?_

" You know… You would think those antelopes are smart enough to not return to the human's camp after being chased by a saber, don't you ? "

His voice is just a dreadful growl and his ironic tone sends me a chill down my spine when it reaches my ears, because I know he doesn't mean to be funny at all. My heartbeat gets faster and faster and my lungs seem to be willing to betray me as I'm trying to keep my breath under control. _He knows._

He leans forward, letting his muzzle to reach my left ear. His neck fur touches my nose and allows me to smell a very well-known scent which brings me back old memories. I feel the need to nuzzle him and I would have surrendered to this temptation if I hadn't heard his voice again.

" I thought I made myself understood - I want my revenge and I won't stop until I get a hold of that damn baby ! "

His warm breath breaks my calm and his low whisper makes my scruff muscles to quiver. I swallow hard and I must summon up all my courage to even unclench my jaw.

" I .. I'm sorry…''

I can't continue. I feel my tongue spreading my warm saliva over my teeth and I realize that my fangs must be completely frozen by now. Soto stands up and begins to slowly walk in circles around me, but my eyes don't follow him. He keeps his head down, as in a meditative position and he contracts all his muscles, allowing me to remember how weak I am, compared to him. Fuck this, he could kill me instantly ! But would he do that ?

" I've noticed your reluctance, Diego, to killing such an innocent yet so insignificant and small thing as a child.''

His grave voice is filling the whole area and I'm wondering if the others can hear us. He interrupts his march when he reaches my back. He climbs on top of me, placing his paw on my left shoulder and resting his neck on my right one, his nose grazing my ear and stopping next to my face. The almost non-existent moment when he rubbed my neck gives me an immense feeling of pleasure and I feel how his body is warming me up. Then, out of nowhere, I feel a hot and soft surface slowly going up my muzzle and moistening my fur, lifting my upper lip and even touching my teeth and a small amount of his saliva is mixing up with mine, leaving a pleasant taste in my mouth.

" But I didn't expect you to try to sabotage my plans.. My lieutenant… "

He's trying to make me feel guilty. Is that all I mean to him ? His lieutenant ? A small piece of the giant puzzle of life that can be thrown away and easily changed with something else ? He wraps his other paw around my chest and tightens me in a soft hug, trying to show some compassion. But he fails miserably, as his body, which was once molding to mine, is now rigid and his muzzle is loathingly executing a circular move around my ear and the top of my head.

" You're wrong, Soto."

I don't even realize when these words come out my mouth and I'm becoming more and more scared as a grave silence fills the dark place. Only the Moon is there to count our words, as a shy bystander forced to take part in our discussion. He gets off me and drags his tongue along my neck in his way to my chest.

" What do you mean ? "

His tone is changed. The usual grave and cracked snarl of him can't be found. Instead, an ingratiating voice is spelling every single letter so softly that the question seems to be a fake love statement, meant to make me succumb.

"Your will for revenge is foolish. You're making a mistake trying to attack the humans."

I don't know where all this courage is coming from, filling my spirit. He stops his fake cuddling and gives a quick snort, but he doesn't say anything. After a few moments while he stays quiet, I continue my phrase, deciding not to let him clip my wings and, as in a passional yet so phony gesture, I start rubbing my chin against the top of his head.

"We are too few to stand a chance against them. Attacking them could bring us some serious injuries or even death, and even if we make it out somehow, a war between humans and sabers would still be unleashed."

Soto is smart, but this whole 'revenge' thing makes him not see the consequences of starting a fight against the humans. We're already lagging behind all the other animals that are on their way to the South and our chances of perpetuating our species are tending to nil since our females have had the bad luck of being ruthlessly killed.

"They asked for this war! And don't you care about your mates? What about your _friends_? That they have been killed with cold blood, only for their furs? Only to satisfy some stupid humans that have recklessly invaded our own territory and now they think they can do whatever they want?!"

He falls back as he's calling out loud these words and he turns around, snarling and breathing hard. For the first time, he let me see his despair and anger, and, for a moment, I understand him. He.. We have lost our comrades, even some of the formers of the pack. We've lost our friends and that was for an insignificant reason. They did it from pleasure. They did it to cover their stupid asses with something during the winter. I'm mad. Just like he is. But I can't let him drive himself to death.

"I do care !"

I stand up and walk up to him.

"But I care more about you!"

My voice cracks. I look at him and I wait. The male inside me is ready to confront him. I have to convince him to give up on his revenge - this whole thing ends here and now! He's staying motionless with his back to me and, although he was so quick and subtle, I can still notice when he tenses his deltoids. Then, he turns around with a slight move, and, even before I realize, he kisses me.

I clench my jaw and throttle because of the surprise and I want to fall back. But the astonishment is quickly replaced by a strong feeling of calm and pleasure, and I abandon myself into his paws. He leans forward even more, pinning me to the ground and I feel how the cold snow covers my back. He starts dipping his tongue into my mouth and then twisting it as streams of his saliva are following it and his hot breath is entering up to my throat. I take his head into my paws and I press my lips even more against his. We are involved in a slow movement that makes our belly furs to rub against each other.

" .. I love you .. "

He only stops for a second. Whispering the words with a soft and loving tone between numerous hard breaths. Then, he returns to the kiss while I'm still wondering if it really was him who said that - _oh, I thought I've lost you forever !_

* * *

A strong wind is blowing outside when I wake up, a frightening din echoing in the whole lair. I look around to see another four sabers that are still sleeping surrounding me and I point one of them, just to watch his back going up and down as the air is entering and coming out his lungs.

My fur is soaked, as a consequence of my deep involvement in the dream I had, and I begin to feel the cold spread by the noisy wind. I'm missing the warmth of his touch and I would stand up and go lie next to him, but I very well know that's not possible. Not anymore.

 _Where are you, Soto ? You said you will never leave me, that you will never let me down. You said that you will always.. love me .. Your revenge.. The only reason that caused all this.. And the Death is hiding right around the corner, but you're too blind now to see it.._

 _Hun.._

 _.. Hun ! .. I don't wanna lose you .._

 _.. I love you .._


End file.
